"Neither then, nor today, do I believe I did anything wrong." Dzyadok frankly spoke about his past relationship with a 16-year-old girl

Mikola Dzyadok. Video screenshot: TOK_talk / YouTube

In February 2025, blogger Yana Stasyalovich wrote in her Telegram channel about her relationship with Mikola Dzyadok, which began when she was 16 and he was 29. The girl claimed that during psychotherapy, she re-evaluated this experience and now perceives what happened as pedophilia on the part of the blogger. At the time of the post's publication, Mikola was in custody.

In the new episode of TOK, Nasta Roŭda asked him to comment on the situation.

"Why did you think that a relationship with a 16-year-old girl, when you were 29, was normal? And did you consider it normal?" Nasta asked Mikola.

"If it were abnormal, I wouldn't have entered into that relationship," Dzyadok replied.

To the remark that Mikola "could have found a partner who matched his intellectual level," instead of having a relationship with a girl who was effectively a teenager, the blogger explained:

"I didn't choose a partner from a partners' market, where I just came and said: 'Okay, this one is smart, etc., etc.' As I said, I fell in love with her. When a person is in love, rationality doesn't really work well. I experienced this myself.

Neither then, nor today, do I believe I did anything bad or abnormal. And I wouldn't want my words, that I fell in love with her, to be heard by someone as an excuse. I have absolutely nothing to apologize for.

In my life, I have committed a number of acts for which I am ashamed. However, my relationship with Yana is not among those acts."

He also rejected accusations of psychological and sexualized violence. And when it was pointed out that he didn't want to publicly apologize to Yana, Mikola stated:

"I believe that no one has the right to demand public apologies from me for my personal relationships. My apologies can only be between me and my girlfriend."

According to him, he apologized to the girl shortly after they broke up:

"After we broke up, we had a conversation. Not immediately. We broke up more due to a conflict. Then, when everything settled down, we met, talked, and apologized to each other. She told me what hurt her in the relationship. I apologized to her. With that, all our conflicts were closed."

According to Dzyadok, they continued to maintain contact and saw each other quite often even after the breakup.

"When I went to prison, she wrote me letters. She wrote to my wife, asked how I was, said she was worried. So when I was released and learned that eight years later she had claims of this kind, it was very unpleasant for me," the blogger says.

When asked how his wife perceived this situation, Mikola admitted: "It hurt her a lot. Much more than me. She was very worried about the hate directed at me, about the public insults. She doesn't have the thick skin that I have. I can just close the laptop and forget about all those numerous insults I've read in thirty seconds. So it was hard for her."

"All my comrades knew about this relationship. And no one expressed any complaints to me then."

The interview also touched upon the anarchist community's attitude towards this story. Dzyadok noted that he never hid his relationship with Yana: he introduced her to his parents, met her family himself, and their relationship was known to friends and associates.

"I didn't want it to look like I was secretly having something with a young girl and hiding it from everyone. (...) I wanted to start a family with her. (...) I imagined that we would have a long relationship. (...)

All my comrades knew about this (relationship — NN). I brought her here and there. (...) And no one — I emphasize, not a single person — expressed any complaints to me about this then or said: "Oh-oh-oh, Mikola, she's much younger than you, don't date her."

And now they've decided to show such demonstrative principledness and awareness on this issue, which nine years ago absolutely didn't concern them," the blogger claims.

In response to the remark that societal norms have changed during this time, the blogger stated that he does not consider it necessary to adjust his views every time public attitudes towards a particular phenomenon change.

"I don't think I committed anything terrible, any crime against a person. I still don't see any great harm in it. Societal norms have changed in nine years, and they will change again in another nine years. According to you, I should think one way then, another way now, and then yet another way. Excuse me, I'm not a weather vane. And where would I be then? (...)

Evolution is when you change yourself, not under the pressure of a conformist crowd. What would be left of me if I were constantly adapting like a weather vane to societal norms that are set by who knows who, with what goals, from where?

At the same time, he admitted that he would not want to repeat a similar experience now and would not advise it to others.

"But such things happen in life. It happened, well, let it be."

Dzyadok noted that societal norms have reached a point where many now consider it acceptable to delve into the private lives of public figures.

"I will never accept these social norms. And I don't give anyone such a right. If someone thinks I committed a crime, please, file a complaint against me. Otherwise, mind your own private life."

According to Dzyadok, many expect a detailed answer from him to all accusations, and friends who know what really happened urge him to publicly tell his version of the story.

However, he does not want to do this. Dzyadok claims that doing so would require him to talk about his former partner.

"I am raised — unfortunately or fortunately — not to speak ill of my former woman in public, and I won't. No matter who she was, no matter how much harm she brought me, I once loved her."

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