The widow of Nikita Melkozyorov for the first time publicly spoke about the night of his death
"I still don't know the cause of death... Natural death or not? And I prefer – also understandably for myself – not to think about it."
Lina Tsapava, the wife of the well-known Belarusian blogger and journalist Nikita Melkozyorov, who suddenly died in December 2025 at the age of 37, for the first time spoke in detail about the night of his death. She did this in a joint podcast with another young widow — Belarusian IT specialist and blogger Dasha Belanovskaya, whose husband died in a car accident.
Nikita Melkozyorov is the founder of the popular YouTube project "Life-Raspberry," in which he interviewed famous Belarusians, the host of the project on Belarusian history "The Sun Will Look In," and co-founder of the "Mova Nanova" program on "Belsat."
"It was the last photo"
Lina said that the last evening before her husband's death was "carefree and pleasant" — they watched Christmas movies and ate his favorite food:
"We had such a super carefree, pleasant evening... We watched Christmas movies, ate a lot of great, delicious food. For a long time, the thought that on this evening we did many things he loved — simply went down the list of foods he loved, hugged, said pleasant things to each other — comforted me."
That evening, Nikita managed to take their last joint photo:
"He even managed to take a photo. Of course, no one expected it to be our last family photo, where we are lying in bed... smiling. It is still saved with me."
"I found him at home in the bathroom"
Nikita died overnight. Lina said that she was the one who found his body:
"Well, he died overnight. Actually, I found him at home in the bathroom."
She admitted that she still doesn't know the exact cause of her husband's death and consciously avoids delving into this question:
"I still don't know the cause of death... Natural death or not? And I prefer – also understandably for myself – not to think about it."
"Death in emigration"
A separate part of the conversation is about how she was left alone with the situation in Warsaw, where there were no relatives or close ones nearby who could come immediately. Representatives of the emergency services, upon seeing her Belarusian passport, repeatedly asked if she had anyone here:
"They all, in turn, offered me to call relatives: do you have anyone here? Do you have anyone here?"
Lina calls this "death in emigration":
"Death in emigration — #hashtag. You have no one. And you won't call anyone, because even if you call at 4:00 AM, your parents won't come."
"Go wipe the blood, go hold the IV, why are you just standing there?"
Tsapava also spoke about the behavior of one of the ambulance workers who, according to her, commented on her state and gave orders while Lina was in shock.
"She just kept commenting: 'Why are you standing there?' It was night, around three, naturally, I was in a sleep shirt and underwear — I was just saving my husband, I didn't care about pants. She said: 'Why are you standing? Get dressed, we're going to the hospital now.' Then five minutes passed, she was doing something there, some defibrillators, and suddenly: 'Oh, it's over, why did you get dressed? It's over, where? Everything is already here. What's wrong with you?'"
According to her, this same employee commanded the entire brigade (two brigades arrived on site, three men in total) to pack up, because the person was already dead, and then continued to comment on Lina's every move:
"She says: 'Go wipe the blood, go hold the IV, why are you just standing there?' I don't know. I just stand there and think: I have the same question — what should I do. And I ask it, I have no tears, just horror."
And then, according to Lina, that same medical worker sat down at her table in the living room, as if she were at home, and refused to explain further actions:
"She says: 'I don't know, that's not my job. A service will arrive now, they will tell you everything.'"
"The burden of Melkozyorov's widow"
Lina openly speaks about how difficult it is to return to life when your loss is public, and your husband's surname is known to a wide audience:
"You still carry this burden — Melkozyorov's widow. Here, they hung this medal on me, which I didn't want... And for these people, it will never be timely that she has returned to life. For them, it will always be too soon."
For the same reason, she is not yet ready to think about new relationships:
"I am in a different stage — the stage of protecting my vulnerability... I understand how much it will shatter me if it doesn't work out here either. That means — neither the time nor the place."
A phrase Lina previously posted in her stories, and which, according to her, best describes the feelings of a young widow:
"To become a widow at a young age is to learn a language that no one else in your circle speaks yet."
Despite everything she has experienced, at the end of the conversation Lina says that life after loss still exists:
"Is there life after loss? Yes, there is. And an incredible life."
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