Former political prisoner: GUBOP agent asked me: "Why is the Academy of Public Administration so rebellious?"

Photos provided by the interviewee

Natalia, 100 years apart, repeated the story of her grandmother, who spent two years in Suzdal prison for political prisoners and was exiled to Kazakhstan.

Initially, for "insulting" KGB Chairman Tsertsel (the expert examination found a "negative assessment" in her comment), Malets received "home chemistry" (house arrest with restrictions), and then a new criminal case — for 125 money transfers to 114 Belarusian "extremists."

Natalia wrote to prisons and transferred money to unfamiliar Belarusians even before her first trial.

— The first thing they asked me in GUBOP was: "If you go to prison, do you think someone will write to you?"

They looked at the number of postcards, envelopes, and money transfer receipts, exclaiming in surprise: "Look what she's doing!"

Seeing my lowered blinds, they said: "Did you specifically lower the blinds so the KGB wouldn't see you writing letters?" But I simply didn't have curtains.

And they all watched, searching: where do I get the money for transfers? They couldn't believe I was sending my own.

I didn't hide where I got the money: we sold my parents' dacha, I was receiving a pension, my children helped. And I wasn't sending such large sums, about one and a half thousand in total in the end.

It was important for me to write letters even to strangers. Can you imagine what a 50th birthday is like? And an innocent person celebrates it behind bars. I sent telegrams, transferred money, to support them even a little.

Most of all, I was appalled by the level of violence from the security forces. Frustration began: where did all this darkness come from?

Until the very end, I thought that ours couldn't do such things. I believed rumors that it was Kadyrovites who were invited to deal with us. I found thousands of excuses, I just couldn't believe it was Belarusians.

Excuse me, maybe I'll seem cynical now, but I can't even open my mouth about Belarusians in general as a good and tolerant nation. Because they beat, killed, judged. And these were also Belarusians.

It was as if the curtains on the stage were pulled back, and everyone suddenly saw what horror and nightmare we live in.

Before 2020, Natalia worked at the Academy of Public Administration under the President for 14 years.

— During our second conversation, the GUBOP agent, a group leader who graduated from the Ministry of Internal Affairs Academy and our Academy of Public Administration, asked me: "Natalia Albertovna, why is the Academy of Public Administration so rebellious?"

I replied that they teach law there, while in your police academy, they force you to obey the orders of your superiors.

In our Academy, the teaching staff in the legal departments was strong. They taught us to reason and argue our position.

Do you know what the horror of 2020 was? It divided people into those who went through prisons and left the country, fleeing repression. And those who became the harshest judges and prosecutors – we have such graduates too. I cannot find an explanation for this. Because these young men and women were critical thinkers, literate, intelligent.

But what is reason? Reason is a moral category. There is intellect, that's one thing. But intellect without moral nuances will remain just intellect. It will never become wisdom.

Before the Academy of Public Administration, I worked at the University of Physical Culture; there, it was much tougher in terms of ideological indoctrination. That's polling station #1, where Lukashenka votes.

Moreover, athletes, by their organization, are closer to military personnel. To obey a coach's commands, to endure humiliation. I remember a coach yelling at a young female wrestler: "You cow! You're doing it wrong!" Such things did not happen at the Academy of Public Administration. And no rector ever copied Lukashenka's communication style.

On August 10, I went to the first vice-rector, refusing to lead lecturers to rallies in support of Lukashenka. Several of our lecturers, lawyers, approached me and thanked me: "Thank you for your civic stance!"

I was fired a month before my contract ended. They gave a good reference, but at the end (and I already had my first criminal case), they wrote: "...did not support the actions of security forces in 2020."

In prison, already serving my term, I told myself: "Natasha, you're not here because you wrote letters and supported people. And not because you sent them money. But because you were faint-hearted. When it was necessary to speak, you were timid, pretending that many things didn't concern you."

At 57, in 2017, I became the best actress of the National Artistic League of KVN (a popular comedic game show). The guys invited me to the "Au" team, and I performed with them for two years. And they put on such bold performances! I even got nervous when they assigned me the role of a critic of officialdom.

There are negative stereotypes about the Academy of Public Administration in society. But in fact, there was so much truth there!

During my time, department heads and lecturers who said something "wrong" during lectures were removed. After August 16, 2020, the very first people to write an open letter to Lukashenka (over 600 signatures) were graduates of the Academy of Public Administration from various years. The essence of the letter was: we were not taught this at the Academy.

You can't even imagine how many of its students are now in Poland and Lithuania!

Natalia was released and forced out of the country with a group of political prisoners in December 2025. But even today, she cannot detach herself from the Belarusian agenda.

— I follow who, what, and how they analyzed. What's written in the news and what Belarusians are saying. I have an absolute feeling of spring-summer 2020. I'm immersed in the news, waiting for them to announce: "That's it. This horror is finally over."

I want to live in Belarus, even understanding what will begin there when things happen our way. And that it will be our way, I have no doubt.

Павялічыць

But first, it will be a thousand times worse. In what state will today's Belarus be left to us? Economically, it will be at zero. And salaries and pensions will be delayed; complaints will inevitably begin: "It was better under Lukashenka."

When all this is revealed, we will be horrified by what has become of Belarus. And people we lost due to differences in views will never become friends again.

I lost many, but this void was filled with new, great people. I sat with some in the pre-trial detention center, with others in the colony, with some during transfer. And with some, we traveled by bus when they forced us out of the country.

When it all ends, I would really not want lynch mobs. Let those who are guilty answer for everything within the legal framework. No burning or destroying, no hunting down and lynching security forces. I want these people to be tried according to their own laws.

When I left my job on December 7, 2020, I sat in the news for days, hardly sleeping. I realized that life was going to hell, so I took a beautiful notebook and made a plan. The first point was to go to bed at 10 PM and wake up at 6 AM. And the universe said: "You want it – you get it!" I lived that way for almost three years in captivity (laughs).

The second point of the plan was to get my body in order: "learn to eat porridge in the mornings." "Eat, animal!" the universe told me, and I've had my fill of porridge!

The third point — when I read about arrests, beatings, and how people were packed into the "glass" (a small, standing-room-only compartment in a police van) — I wished: "I want to see what the inside of a paddy wagon looks like." And I saw it about 15 times.

I fulfilled the fourth point in Poland – to travel. And now I'm fulfilling the fifth, learning Polish. And so – I have no complaints to my universe; it fulfilled everything (laughs).

But since it hears me so well, I started a new beautiful notebook and am now writing my wishes in more detail. They are, of course, no longer so vegetarian; in two points, the word "obituary" is even present.

The colony is not a test for everyone: some break, some become stronger. The most solidary category is the political prisoners. Although, I won't hide it, there were disappointments. That's why I don't want to continue communication with everyone.

I will always support Masha Kalesnikava, no matter what is said about her. Because I saw her there. And that image — that is the real her.

I see Masha leading an elderly woman by the arm, whose legs are failing. That woman was imprisoned for murder, but Masha leads her by the arm because it's very difficult for the woman to walk.

I see them returning from the store, everyone with purchases, but Masha walks with an empty, folded bag because she has no money in her account. Or how everyone prepares for the New Year, making waffle cakes, while Masha was put on gate duty.

She always had a smile! She behaved with great dignity. I even shouted to her through the gate, which is strictly forbidden: "Happy New Year!"

That image and that Masha – they are real to me. People remained for me as they were there.

Everyone chose how to behave: some refused to cooperate, others agreed. But these were isolated cases. Mostly, there were girls there whom I am proud of. Nastachka Loika — my beloved, dear one — is simply a heroine!

My soul aches for those who remained. Lyuda Chekina — what a smart woman! Many girls are in a difficult physical and moral state. I constantly remember Ira Melkher, Lyuba Razanovich, Zhanna Avramchyk. They should have been among the first to be released. Irachka Zlobina — such a kind girl! Yurgilevich Yulia, intelligent and brave, suffered because of her professional activities.

There are mothers held hostage because of their children. Ira Takarchuk, small, thin, always with a smile. We are the same age. Frantskevich Tanya is older than me, mother of Alexander (an activist of the anarchist movement — Ed.). Girls held hostage for their children; many are in critical health.

In the colony, they did everything to make people lose the desire to turn on the TV. Even non-political prisoners' faces changed, and they swore when Marzalyuk, Gigin, Tur appeared on screen. This, despite them having no idea about these propagandists before prison.

I didn't have a moment of despair there. The scariest thing, which makes many give up, is the thought that people don't remember us, don't talk about us, that everyone has forgotten us. But I insisted: "No! Not for a single minute have they forgotten! They remember everyone and know that we exist."

When I got out, I realized how little I knew about this support. It turns out I had my own godmother, Ksenia, who lives in Poland. She constantly talked and wrote about me on TikTok. She brought a huge box of gifts that she had collected during my entire time in the colony.

This person remembered me all these years. She attached notes with inscriptions to each gift, stating where and why it was purchased.

I also didn't know that I had my own personal cat, drawn by the artist Volha Yakubouskaya.

The environment of the security forces is not homogeneous. One, getting to know me better, said: "I'm ashamed to swear in front of you."

And a young Ministry of Internal Affairs employee once blurted out: "I never even imagined how much debauchery there is in the police!" To which I replied: "I never even imagined how much there is in the country."

Once, a pre-trial detention center employee, during a KGB officer's visit to one of the detainees, said: "Bring her out! The NKVD has come for her!" As an assessment of the situation, referencing the 1930s. Such a joke, implying that nothing has changed for us.

More than once, silently, pre-trial detention center workers asked about the term, whispering comfort: "Don't worry, it will pass quickly!"

When we were forced out of the country, I felt enormous support. They hugged us, explained everything about a new life in a new country, helped with money. And although I am now physically in Wrocław in rented accommodation alone — I have no feeling of loneliness. Absolutely none.

When I compare myself to the girls who remained in the colony — I am generally a happy person. My children are safe, and in the colony, there are girls who have a child with a disability. Can you imagine the state of such a woman, Nadzeya Laptseonak? And she is not the only one.

Ira Melkher's words still resonate within me: "I will die here from longing." Can you imagine — not from fear, not from pain, not from illness. From longing.

Ira will be, if I'm not mistaken, 69. Her disabled husband, who cannot come down from the second floor, remained at home.

Therefore, I am good here now, but they are bad THERE now.

And what I went through there is such a "lite" version compared to what Masha Kalesnikava, Vika Kulsha, Ira Melkher went through; I keep coming back to her.

Therefore, I have no difficulties today, even in forced emigration. And I also don't have the famous emotional swings of an emigrant.

No regrets about what was done in 2020. Personally, for me, it was the only correct decision; there could have been no other.

I have before my eyes mothers who heard with horror the sentences passed on their innocent children — 15-20 years. How can one survive such a thing?

— Why, when you found out about the first case, "home chemistry" (house arrest with restrictions), and then about the second criminal case, did you not leave Belarus, like many others?

— The same question was asked by an employee of the pre-trial detention center. I replied: "Why should I run, and not you?"

I was born here; here are the graves of my parents, grandmother, and grandfather. And, thank God, I have already lived on my native land for more than 60 years. I say: for you, there is nothing sacred here — that's why you can pack up and run. It was my principled position not to leave Belarus.

— But in the end, you are still in Poland now. You didn't leave, but they forced you out of the country...

— Exactly! And that's important — it's a different verb.

I didn't leave; I was forced out. And that is a crime on the part of the state. To suspend our pensions — why? On what grounds?

I can be indignant, angry, but I'm no longer surprised by anything. And why would I be — when a junta is in power? A police junta, not even a military one.

I remember my grandmother and her term in Suzdal prison. She was an activist of the youth wing of some party in Poltava. I was sentenced to 3.5 years, and she to two years. And they were exiled to Kazakhstan. In 1926, 100 years ago.

I believe that this cycle should close on someone. It would be good if it closed on me.

Despite my age, I still want to live in Belarus. And since everything from my first notebook came true, even if not perfectly, I believe that our common wishes from the new notebook will also come true.

— Just formulate it more precisely now (we laugh).

— Oh, I even write down names now; I approach the matter very carefully! For example: to be a witness in my judge's trial. And I write down her surname, first name, and patronymic.

So, taking into account the experience I've lived through, I'm doing everything correctly now. And I believe that everything will certainly and very soon come true!

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