“This is your Homeland.” 13 rules for life in emigration from Yulia Charnyavskaya

Life in a foreign land. My observations, rules, and attempts to follow them.

1. In any, even the smallest, most standard, dwelling, equip yourself a cozy corner. Let it be a chair or a small rug with an old plaid blanket brought from home. Or a few photos on the wall. Or a table lamp with yellow light. Or a shelf with books and a beloved trinket. Or simply a toy that you look at. Let it be an island of your peace from the past. Emigration is principled minimalism, unification, everything is functional, so let there be something non-functional and familiar.

2. Use what is given and brings joy. Cheap low-cost options, Christmas markets, free events: there are tons of them, starting from summer jazz concerts in the square and street theaters, ending with free museum days.

3. Learn the language. Don't be shy to speak it, even if broken, but don't be shy. (I am shy, but it's a mistake. So I still speak with anyone who speaks to me). I understand that you are tense and wary, but it's impossible to live in tension and wariness. Small talk with neighbors who are open to it is a necessary minimum. Having a dog helps here. By the way, rejoice that you can go to the shop, cafe, post office, and pharmacy with a dog.

4. Seek and find your favorite places in the city. This will be an outward expansion of your island of peace. For me, these are Warsaw parks. Thus, peaceful acceptance will gradually encompass the entire city.

5. Do what you used to do at home. Combine the past and the new. Don't stop exercising. Read books in the new language. Go to concerts. You can always find places with cheap tickets. Thus, you remain in your familiar intellectual world — and simultaneously in a foreign one.

6. If you are forced to do physical labor, use your profession at least as a hobby. I know people who rehearse a play after hard work — and at that time live a full, rich life. I'm not even talking about artists and poets. Don't lose your profession — you'll still need it.

7. Don't be ashamed of your immigrant status. Not only Einstein and Chagall were refugees, but also Mary and Joseph.

8. Create a warm circle of your own nearby — those you can spontaneously call for pies and tea. Live as an "extended family": friendship here is much closer and warmer than at home. Love these people with all your heart. This is your homeland.

9. Help those who have recently arrived here and are confused: helping is one of the fundamental human aspirations. Don't suppress it in yourself — you'll lose a lot.

10. If you are able to travel — definitely travel. Don't postpone it. Freedom of movement is one of the main human freedoms. And low-cost airlines and cheap hostels, fortunately, no one has canceled.

11. Don't criticize the new country — not even to yourself. I know people who built their lives on antipathy towards Poland and Poles. Coincidence or not, these are very unhappy people, even if comparatively successful.

12. Add local holidays to your own and enjoy them. All these Christmas stars, Advent candles, Easter bunnies, Corpus Christi processions… Even if you are not a Catholic. Pumpkins — even if you are not a pagan. (For me, these are also Pride parades — that's how I support friends). And yes, a Christmas tree, definitely a Christmas tree!

13. Take care of your own, Belarusian, in various spheres. You have acquired not only the identity of a refugee. You should also develop the identity of a diaspora member. This is an important function. And at the same time, do not participate in diaspora quarrels: they stem from emptiness, and your life should be as full as possible. I wish you (and myself) this in the new year!

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