The widow of Mikita Mielkaziorau spoke publicly for the first time about the night of his death
"I still don't know the causes of death... Natural death or not? And I prefer – also understandably for myself – not to think about it."
Mikita Mielkaziorau
Lina Tsapava, the wife of the well-known Belarusian blogger and journalist Mikita Mielkaziorau, who suddenly died in December 2025 at the age of 37, spoke in detail for the first time about the night of his death. She did this in a joint podcast with another young widow — Belarusian IT specialist and blogger Dasha Bielanouskaya, whose husband died in a car accident.
Mikita Mielkaziorau is the founder of the popular YouTube project "Life-Raspberry" (Жыццё-маліна), in which he interviewed famous Belarusians, the host of the project on Belarusian history "The Sun Will Shine" (Загляне сонца), and a co-founder of the "Mova Nanova" (Мова Нанова) program on "Belsat".
"This was the last photo"
Lina said that the last evening before her husband's death was "carefree and pleasant" — they watched Christmas movies and ate his favorite food:
"We had a super carefree, pleasant evening... We watched Christmas movies, ate a lot of great, delicious food. For a long time, the thought that we did many things he loved that evening — simply ate food he loved from a list, hugged, told each other pleasantries — comforted me."
That evening, Mikita managed to take their last joint photo:
"He even managed to take a photo. Of course, no one expected it to be our last family photo, where we are lying in bed... smiling. It's still saved on my phone."
"I found him at home in the bathroom"
Mikita died that night. Lina said that she was the one who found his body:
"Well, and he died at night. In fact, I found him at home in the bathroom."
She admitted that she still doesn't know the exact cause of her husband's death and consciously avoids delving into this question:
"I still don't know the causes of death... Natural death or not? And I prefer — also understandably for myself — not to think about it."
"Death in emigration"
A separate part of the conversation was about how she was left alone with the situation in Warsaw, where there were no relatives or close ones nearby who could come immediately. Emergency services representatives, upon seeing her Belarusian passport, repeatedly asked if she had anyone here:
"They all, one after another, suggest calling relatives: do you have anyone here? Do you have anyone here?"
Lina calls this "death in emigration":
"Death in emigration – a hashtag. You have no one. And you won't call anyone, because even if you call at 4:00 AM, your parents won't come."
"Go wipe the blood, go hold the IV, why are you standing there?"
Tsapava also spoke about the behavior of one of the ambulance workers who, according to her, commented on her state and gave orders while Lina was in shock.
"She kept commenting: 'Why are you standing there?' It was night, around three, naturally, I was in a sleep shirt and underwear — I was just saving my husband, I didn't care about pants. She said: 'Why are you standing there? Get dressed, we're going to the hospital now.' Then five minutes pass, she's doing something there, some defibrillators, and suddenly: 'Oh, it's all over, why did you get dressed? It's all over, where? Everything is already here. What's wrong with you?'"
According to her, the same employee ordered the entire brigade (two brigades arrived, three men in total) to pack up, as the person was already dead, and then continued to comment on Lina's every move:
"She says: 'Go wipe the blood, go hold the IV, why are you standing there?' I don't know. I'm just standing and thinking: I have the same question — what should I do. I'm asking it, I have no tears, just horror."
And then, according to Lina, the same medical worker sat at her living room table, as if she were at home, and refused to explain the next steps:
"She says: 'I don't know, that's not my job. A service will come now, they'll tell you everything.'"
"The Burden of Mikita Mielkaziorau's Widow"
Lina openly talks about how difficult it is to return to life when your loss is public, and your husband's surname is known to a wide audience:
"You still carry this burden — of Mikita Mielkaziorau's widow. This medal, which I didn't want, was hung on me... And for these people, it will never be timely for her to return to life. For them, it will always be too soon."
For the same reason, she is not yet ready to think about new relationships:
"I'm in a different stage — the stage of protecting my vulnerability... I understand how much it would devastate me if it didn't work out here too. Meaning — neither the time nor the place is right."
A phrase Lina previously posted in her stories, which, according to her, best describes the feelings of a young widow:
"Becoming a widow at a young age is like learning a language that no one else in your circle speaks yet."
Despite everything she has experienced, at the end of the conversation, Lina says that life after loss does exist:
"Is there life after loss? Yes, there is. And an incredible life."