"I only didn't foresee one thing: that this very round video message would be used against me." Alina Kharysava's confession after the KGB scandal
"A person who introduced himself as an SBU officer wrote to me. Now many say that I believed him immediately. But in fact, the opposite was true. Already on the first day, I suspected that this person was from the KGB. I took a screenshot of the first message and sent it to a close person with the words: 'Look, the KGB has new methods.'"
Alina Kharysava. Photo: "Nasha Niva"
After the release of a propaganda story about political scientist Alina Kharysava, an expert at Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya's Office, her name became central to one of the most prominent discussions in Belarusian democratic circles in recent weeks. The girl reportedly agreed to cooperate with Ukrainian special services, which in reality turned out to be KGB officers. This led to internal investigations, disputes on social media, discussions in the professional community, and numerous questions for Kharysava herself.
Until now, Alina Kharysava had not given extensive public comments, awaiting the results of investigations and gathering evidence for her version of events. In a monologue, Alina told "Nasha Niva" her truth in detail – about years of pressure from the KGB, the story with the SBU and that very "round video message," threats, depression, investigations, hate, and the support she received after the scandal.
"They pressured me not only through my family. They pressured everyone they could reach."
"Pressure from the KGB has been exerted on me for several years now. But the last year it became particularly massive. And when I say 'massive pressure,' I don't mean what some people are writing about now: as if no Belarusian hasn't been pressured.
Many of my colleagues were sincerely surprised by the scale of what happened in my case. Because it was pressure not only on me and not even only on my family. It was pressure on friends, acquaintances, neighbors. On everyone they could reach.
It went as far as very strange and very harsh things. For example, they could take my relative out of the hospital literally before an operation, put him in a KGB car, and ask him to call me from his Telegram so that I would answer the special service officers whose messages I was ignoring.
People who have ever faced similar pressure understand this state well. You are constantly forced to maneuver. On the one hand, not to make any deals, not to do what they demand of you. On the other hand, they are constantly trying to draw you into communication. And you are forced to somehow exist between these two things: not to succumb to provocation and at the same time not to harm the people around you.
I spoke about this pressure in professional circles, in media interviews, and to close people. It was not some kind of secret.
It seems to me that people also don't always understand what my contact with the KGB looked like over the past year. Because it wasn't a situation where they offered me something, and I sat and thought about whether to agree. On the contrary. My main strategy was precisely to do nothing: ignore, stall for time, pretend not to understand what they wanted from me.
When they forced me to respond through relatives, when they told me: "Answer immediately," I very often answered a question with a question. I asked for clarification, pretended not to understand. Then I might not answer at all for several days. And this went on for months.
It seems to me that this is also important to understand. Because the story with this person who introduced himself as an SBU officer didn't happen in a vacuum. It happened against the backdrop of an already very long history of confrontation and attempts not to succumb to pressure.
"I wrote to a friend: 'Look, the KGB has new methods.'"
Against this background, on October 3 last year, a person who introduced himself as an SBU officer wrote to me. Now many say that I believed him immediately. But in fact, the opposite was true.
I have confirmation that already on the first day I suspected that this person was from the KGB. I literally took a screenshot of the first message and sent it to a close person with the words: "Look, the KGB has new methods."
This can be confirmed by correspondence that remained with other people. During the investigations, we collected such facts literally piece by piece. Because although the dialogue itself was deleted, my messages to friends, voice messages, and screenshots where I talked about my suspicions remained.
Screenshots of Alina Kharysava's personal correspondence with close people. Provided by Alina
And from the very beginning, I perceived this person as a possible KGB operation.
Why I responded
Nobody asked me to leak anything, they didn't offer me to transmit information. They told me they would help me deal with the KGB people who were pressuring me, that they would help me understand who they were, that they could check something and advise me on how best to behave in this situation.
And I thought: fine, let's play this game. My logic was very simple. If it's a KGB officer, he'll quickly give himself away. If it's an SBU officer, I lose nothing, because no one is asking me for anything special.
At some point, they asked me to record a "round video message." And this was my main mistake. At that moment, it seemed to me that a "round video message" was not something serious. It seemed absurd to me that any special service could build a serious operation around a "round video message" in Telegram.
I thought: if it's a KGB officer, he'll quickly start asking strange questions and expose himself. Then I'll just tell my colleagues about it, warn other people, and that's it.
I only didn't foresee one thing: that this very round video message would later be used against me.
"All I could send was a link to a news article from Google."
After the "round video message," questions began. At first, they were very strange, as if the person was completely out of context of what they were asking about.
There was a moment when they asked me something, and I just opened Google, found an article from "Zerkalo" or another media outlet, and forwarded the link. During the investigations, we even found these search queries in my account history.
Then other questions began. For example, they asked me who was handling the Office's relocations. I replied that I couldn't answer that. After that, communication started to become more aggressive. And at some point, I finally became convinced that I was dealing with the KGB. Because SBU officers, it seems to me, simply wouldn't behave that way.
I blocked that account and deleted the dialogue. After that, they started writing to me from another account. There were messages like: "Those who have entered into communication with us don't just leave it," "We will get you anyway," and so on.
I did the same – blocked that account too. And that was the end of it.
This game lasted literally a few weeks. And against the backdrop of all the other pressure, it didn't even seem like the main problem in my life.
"The cryptocurrency has become a joke. I don't even know how to use it."
When the propaganda story came out, they tried to show that this communication lasted almost a year. That's not true. It lasted literally a few weeks.
They also tried to show that I allegedly transferred something in exchange for cryptocurrency. For me, this is one of the most absurd moments of the whole story. The cryptocurrency has already become an inside joke in my circle.
I am the kind of person who doesn't even know how to use cryptocurrencies.
After the release of this story, I immediately went to Warsaw for investigations. I literally said: here are my devices, here are my passwords, check everything you want. I had nothing to hide.
All accounts, all devices, the history of program usage were checked. And nothing was found. Not a single crypto wallet or application related to cryptocurrency, no traces of received payments. Nothing. Because if a person actually uses cryptocurrency, it leaves traces. In my case, they simply don't exist.
And there's another thing here that seems very important to me.
If we assume that I was indeed some kind of KGB agent, that I really transferred something to them, then why would they expose me themselves? That makes no logical sense.
And another important point – in that story, there is not a single fact that I personally transferred anything. Not a single one. There is no confirmation whatsoever. They literally only managed to get one "round video message."
And that's it.
Therefore, I have a feeling that they were just very offended that they couldn't get anything more. That they couldn't force me to do what they wanted, couldn't break me quickly. And so they decided to make a big story out of this "round video message" at least.
Another very important point – all these screenshots that later started spreading. I believe they were made specifically for this story.
In the last days before the story's release, many of my colleagues started receiving messages from an account that looked very much like mine. Journalists were written to, claiming that I was allegedly expelled, that I was abandoned, that I wanted to tell the truth. My colleagues were told that they needed to find a way out of the situation together.
At the same time, an account with almost the same nickname as mine was created. The only difference was that it was missing the first letter. Everything looked very similar. And this account was only created in April.
Therefore, it seems very likely to me that those screenshots that were later shown in the story could have been made through it. Because what is written there has no relation to me. It's just some fantasy of the people who prepared it.
"I could even hear that it wasn't my voice."
With the audio, the situation was a bit simpler. When I heard them, it immediately became clear to me that it wasn't my voice. My friends and people who talk to me daily could hear it.
But I understood that for other people, this wasn't enough. So, evidence was needed.
Initially, open online services were used that can analyze audio for the use of artificial intelligence. Then international experts got involved. And this was a very important moment for me.
Because these people don't even speak Belarusian or Russian. They didn't analyze the content, didn't evaluate the political context. They simply looked at the technical parameters of the files. And their conclusion was unambiguous: this audio was generated by artificial intelligence.
Analysis confirming that the audio provided by propagandists is fake
Moreover, they prepared materials, including the analysis code. And I think I will publish this later in open access so that people involved in data science and working with such tools can examine everything themselves.
For me, this was very important. Because I wanted it to be more than just my words against propaganda's words. I needed facts.
"This already looks like a textbook case of transnational repression."
Honestly, I perceive this whole story as a very personalized attack. It seems to me that the goal was to take me out of action. To discredit me. To force me to step aside.
If you look at everything comprehensively, the picture is very characteristic. They know where I live, they filmed my house.
Tur openly threatens me that I will soon disappear and neither Bellingcat, nor The Insider, nor Zyhar will find me.
Protasevich writes that my international protection might be revoked, that I might be deported, and I will be met "with flowers" at the border.
And I am very surprised that in the Belarusian community, much less attention was paid to this than to the "round video message." Because for me, this is a much more serious story. This already looks like a textbook case of transnational repression. And this is what frightens me the most. Not the scandal, not social networks, but the fact that people working for the regime know where I live and openly let me know that they know it.
After this, various rumors also began to appear. For example, that I allegedly gave my address to the KGB myself so they would send me flowers. This is also untrue. This came from the "Chat of Reformers."
Someone there reproached me with this story, and in response, I joked that I could send a photo of myself with roses. Because Roman Protasevich specifically wrote in his post that I allegedly don't like roses.
It was a joke. I didn't provide any address. No one sent me flowers. No one sent me money. All of this was simply made up by people.
And one more thing needs to be understood. In Germany, finding a person's address is not as difficult as many people think. There is a separate procedure that allows access to this data to be closed. But I didn't have such protection. So it didn't surprise me that my address was found.
Something else surprised me. I was surprised that in Germany, there were people willing to work for Belarusian propaganda and the KGB. And after Tur's threats, I seriously considered changing my place of residence.
I live in a very quiet area on the outskirts of the city near a forest. Mostly retirees and families live there. We know each other. And therefore it's very strange when unknown people stand near your house for hours in such a place.
I saw it. And I don't know who it was. Perhaps the people who prepared this story. Perhaps not. But it really happened.
"I was so unable to imagine cooperating with special services that I developed depression."
There's another thing that's difficult for me to talk about, but I consider it important to say. Because now a lot of people are discussing this story, building some versions, arguing about what I should have done or shouldn't have done. But very few people know what state I was in at that moment.
I'll be honest: I generally cannot imagine cooperating with special services.
For me, this is not some theoretical story or moral dilemma that can be discussed somewhere in the comments. I truly cannot imagine a situation in which I would agree to it.
And that's why everything that happened on the part of the KGB over the past year hit my psyche very hard.
When you are pressured - that's one thing. When the people you love are pressured - that's completely different. I saw how my loved ones suffered. I saw how they were drawn into this whole story, how relatives, friends, acquaintances were used just to get to me.
And at some point, I found myself in a situation where I couldn't find any solution. On the one hand, I couldn't imagine agreeing to what they wanted. On the other hand, I couldn't stop what was happening to my loved ones. And I literally walked around thinking about only one thing: how to make all this end. How can I simultaneously not cooperate and at the same time make them leave me alone.
And at some point, I started catching myself having a very scary thought. The only answer I found was: if I'm just gone, then they will leave other people alone.
That's how suicidal thoughts appeared. I remember that period very well. I remember realizing that this was already abnormal. That it wasn't just fatigue, not just stress. When a person regularly starts thinking in that direction, it's already a problem that needs to be addressed. So I sought medical help. And that's why it's so hard for me now to read stories about how I allegedly was ready to cooperate with someone.
Because all this time I was literally breaking myself over the fact that I couldn't even imagine such a possibility.
Another thing that greatly surprised me after this whole story was the number of different fantasies that began to emerge around my life.
For example, the car story. I still don't quite understand where it came from in the form in which it began to be recounted.
Because some people started writing that I was allegedly in a car that someone crashed into, that there were some other circumstances.
In fact, everything was very simple. I was returning from one of the conferences, arrived at the main railway station. At that time, a beer festival was taking place in the city. I was just walking and was hit by a drunk driver. It wasn't some catastrophe after which I was treated in intensive care for months, but it wasn't a trifle either.
I had a mild concussion. There were very strong bruises under my eyes because after the impact, blood simply flowed under the skin. I still feel the consequences of this.
Many people knew about this: my colleagues, people from the feminist community. Because when I was hospitalized and didn't make contact for several days, people started looking for me. So it was very strange for me to read all these new versions of the story.
"The KGB continued to pressure for several more months."
This conversation with the person who introduced himself as an SBU officer lasted literally a few weeks. After that, the KGB continued to pressure me for several more months. Attempts at contact continued, pressure through other people, all the same stories as before.
For the last few months, this has not been happening on such a large scale. At least not directly. But in Belarus, pressure on loved ones still exists. Nothing has changed. The KGB continued to act as it had before.
And if you look at the result of this entire year, it's very simple.
In a year of very massive pressure, all they got from me was one "round video message." And nothing more. Perhaps many are now focusing on my age. Perhaps the KGB really believed that a young person is easier to break, easier to pressure, that they will give up faster. But that didn't happen.
And therefore, I truly feel that this propaganda story was a kind of revenge for not being able to quickly earn stars on their epaulets.
"I always tried to report what was happening."
One of the questions I am asked most often goes something like this: why didn't colleagues know about all this? And here I want to very clearly distinguish several things.
I reported about the KGB pressure. About what was happening with my family, about all these attempts to reach me through other people, about all the stories with relatives – they knew about this.
Moreover, whenever there was any concrete information in conversations with KGB representatives, I always went and reported it to the people who might be concerned.
For example, there was a moment when I was effectively told that they were interested in the chief editor of "Euroradio." I was given to understand that it was not about Pavel Sverdlov.
I myself did not know the answer to this question. But after that, I went to the people from "Euroradio" and said: listen, there's such a situation, there's a person asking such questions. Be careful. That's how I always tried to act.
And that's why I very much hope that this whole story will lead to another important conversation – about security and about supporting people who are under pressure. Because sometimes a person needs not only protocols. Sometimes a person needs elementary help, psychological support, the feeling that they are not alone. And now I understand very well how much this can be lacking.
"I fully agree that one should not cooperate with special services."
When it comes to people's reactions to this whole story, they were very diverse. And for myself, I conditionally divide them into several groups.
The first is reasonable and conscientious criticism.
For example, there was Nasta Rovda's position. She said that one should not enter into any cooperation with special services. And I absolutely agree with this.
Here I have no disputes. I truly believe that one should not cooperate with special services. I truly regret that I entered into this communication at all.
But there is one important nuance here. When this criticism was voiced, I actually didn't have the opportunity to tell my version of what happened yet. My public comments consisted of only one short text, which I wrote literally in the first minutes after I received a call informing me about the release of this story. I didn't even have time to comprehend what was happening then. I didn't have time to watch the episode, didn't have time to gather evidence, didn't have time to undergo checks. Therefore, it turned out that people mainly saw the propaganda's version.
And even if the criticism was valid, it still partly relied on the picture of events that the propagandists painted. Because propaganda claimed that I was transmitting some information, that I agreed to cooperate, that there were some agreements between me and this person. And that was not the case.
Moreover, in the correspondence itself, I openly wrote that I didn't believe that the person in front of me was an SBU officer. I just told him: I will only start believing that you are indeed an SBU officer when you arrange an invitation for me to Ukraine and show me your ID in person. Until then, I will assume that I can talk to anyone. Including a KGB officer. I wrote this in plain text.
Therefore, when people now talk about some kind of cooperation, I really want them to see the full picture.
Because there is a very big difference between "believed a person and started working for him" and "tried to understand who was in front of you, constantly suspecting it was the KGB."
The second group of reactions was much less pleasant. There were people who were just very happy about what happened.
I think every person who has been in the public eye for a long time has people with whom they've had conflicts. Not necessarily political. Sometimes personal, sometimes work-related.
And part of such people perceived this story as an opportunity to finally strike. Some versions about my life started appearing, some stories that had nothing to do with reality.
I can't say that it surprised me. Unpleasant - yes. But it didn't surprise me.
There were other people as well. For example, people who simply dislike Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya's Office. For them, the mere fact that I worked in the Office was already sufficient reason to start attacking me. Not because they understood the story and were interested in the truth. But because it was an opportunity to strike at what they disliked.
And this was also very noticeable. Sometimes this aggression reached absolutely wild things. People wrote threats, very aggressive messages. Among them were people who threatened me with physical violence. And to quote literally, there were threats in the style of "smash *face." And that's truly scary.
Because at some point, you stop understanding where the internet ends and reality begins.
"This support is literally what I'm holding onto until now."
But to be honest, along with all this, I also received a lot of support. And if it weren't for it, I don't know how I would have gotten through the last few weeks. I was especially impressed by the support of people I don't even know personally. There were people who wrote themselves and offered help. There were people who helped find fakes. There were people who helped analyze the audio. There were people who ran these files through various artificial intelligence detection services and sent me the results. There were people who simply sacrificed their time to help sort out this story.
And it was incredibly touching. Separately, I remember one German lawyer very well. He saw the news about what was happening and contacted me himself. He literally outlined everything for me point by point: where to go, which institution to contact, which formulations to use, under which articles it's best to file a complaint, which documents to prepare. And he did it simply because he felt it was necessary to help. Without any personal gain. He just helped.
And this support – it's truly what I'm literally holding onto until now.
"The Belarusian bubble and the international reaction looked like two different worlds."
Another thing that struck me greatly was the difference between the reaction in the Belarusian community and the reaction of people outside it.
In the Belarusian bubble, the main attention was focused on the "round video message." On why I responded, what should have been done differently. On whether I behaved correctly. And I understand why this happened. These are logical questions.
But when I started reading the reactions of people from the international community, I saw a completely different picture. My Instagram circle consists mainly of Americans, Europeans, people who do not live in the Belarusian political context. And they were almost not interested in the "round video message." They were shocked by something else. By the fact that employees of an authoritarian regime can operate in Germany, that a person is threatened with disappearance, by the fact that their house is being filmed, that repressions continue even after leaving Belarus. That's what they paid attention to.
And that's why I very much hope that this story will have some consequences not only for me. Because today in Germany, it is very difficult for Belarusians to obtain international protection. Belarus is still often perceived as a relatively safe country of origin. And this absolutely does not correspond to reality. Because the repressions have not stopped, they have simply crossed the country's borders. And if this story helps even a little to draw attention to this problem, then there will be at least some sense in it.
"Yes, I regret it."
When it comes to the main conclusion for myself, it's very simple.
Yes. I regret it.
I truly regret entering into that communication. It was a mistake to play that game.
Before that, my main strategy had always been to ignore. And it worked. If they wrote to me, I didn't respond. If I could avoid entering a conversation, I didn't. And looking back now, I realize that's exactly what I should have done in that situation too.
It was a lesson. A very unpleasant one, but a lesson on how not to act in such a situation.
And, by the way, after this, when people came to me with similar stories, my main advice was very simple: don't answer. Even if it seems like you have everything under control.
And I hope that this story will become a lesson not only for me but also for other people. Because I am confident: I am not the only person currently facing such an attack. There are many more such people.
And that is why better security protocols are needed. Psychological support is needed, more trusting relationships between people within organizations, an understanding of what happens to a person who lives for months under such pressure. Because Belarusian politics is a very stressful environment. So stressful that we are already beginning to perceive abnormal things as the norm.
When I went to the German police and started telling them everything that had happened, they initially couldn't even believe it was real. For them, it was some parallel universe. But for us, it's already daily life. And that's very dangerous. So you need to take care of your psyche. You need to seek support, contact psychologists. And this applies to everyone. Even the strongest people. Even the most brutal men who are confident that they can endure everything themselves. I am sure that after all this, they too will come out with trauma. And this must be remembered.
As for me, I thought about taking a break. After all this, it seemed to me that I needed to step back, rest, stop participating in public activities. Because all of this is very painful. Most Belarusian activity today is either volunteering or working for very modest money. You do it not for a career, not for earnings. You do it because you believe in justice, because you love your country, because you love the people around you. And when you receive such a blow after that, it's natural to want to just give up everything.
But then I calmed down and realized: that's exactly what they wanted. They wanted me to leave, to be silent, to stop doing anything. And I don't want to help propaganda achieve that goal.
Therefore, I will continue.